How to Move On When You’re Stuck on Someone Who Doesn’t Feel the Same

It’s a common experience: you develop feelings for someone who doesn’t return them. Whether you’re currently in that situation or have been there before, it can be an emotionally challenging place to be. It’s normal to feel a sense of confusion, frustration, or even sadness when someone you care about doesn’t feel the same way. In fact, this kind of one-sided attraction is something almost everyone has experienced at some point.

The good news is that while being stuck on someone can hurt, there are steps you can take to help yourself heal and move forward. But first, it’s important to understand why you might be feeling this way.

Why Am I Stuck on Someone Who Doesn’t Like Me Back?

Understanding why you’re fixated on someone who doesn’t return your feelings is an essential step in moving on. One reason might be that you’ve idealized them in your mind. It’s easy to get caught up in a fantasy about someone, imagining them as the perfect person, even if they don’t have all the qualities you’re really looking for. When you idealize someone, you might focus only on their best traits and overlook their flaws or the reality of who they are as a person. You might even be in love with the idea of them rather than the actual person.

Another reason you might be stuck on someone is because you want someone you can’t have. Sometimes, the idea of pursuing someone who’s unavailable — whether emotionally or otherwise — can be appealing. This unavailability can make them feel more desirable, offering an escape from other areas of your life that might be causing stress or dissatisfaction. When someone’s affection is out of reach, it’s easier to remain in the fantasy of what could be, without having to face the vulnerability, risk, and commitment that come with real, two-sided relationships.

Finally, there could be deeper emotional reasons for staying stuck on someone. Sometimes, unrequited love can serve as a distraction from personal challenges or internal conflicts, such as boredom, loneliness, or unresolved emotional needs. It can feel safer to focus on someone else than to confront difficult feelings you might be avoiding. But while it’s comforting in the short term, this distraction ultimately prevents you from growing or moving on.

Steps to Take When You’re Stuck on Someone

1. Take Some Space from Them

One of the most important steps in healing is creating physical and emotional distance. This may mean limiting contact with the person, at least for a while, and giving yourself time to process the situation. If you’re finding it hard to stop thinking about them, consider unfollowing them on social media or muting their posts. Constantly checking their updates or revisiting old texts only prolongs the emotional attachment. Taking a break from their presence in your life allows you to detach and create the space you need for self-reflection and healing.

2. Focus on Your Wellbeing

Being emotionally invested in someone who doesn’t feel the same way can be draining. It’s easy to get caught up in obsessive thoughts, but it’s important to prioritize your own mental and physical health. Start by taking better care of yourself. Engage in activities that nurture your body and soul: exercise, eat nourishing food, get enough sleep, and do things that bring you joy. Self-care doesn’t have to be a grand gesture; even small acts of kindness toward yourself, like taking a walk, reading a book, or enjoying a cup of tea, can make a big difference.

3. Let Yourself Feel Your Feelings

It’s tempting to avoid painful emotions, but suppressing your feelings can make them more intense in the long run. Allow yourself to feel sad, frustrated, or disappointed — these feelings are normal and part of the healing process. Talk to friends you trust about what you’re going through, journal your thoughts, or cry if you need to. Acknowledging and processing your emotions helps you release them instead of holding on to them. Remember, it’s okay to not be okay for a while. Healing takes time, but it will come.

4. Meet New People, But Don’t Rush Into a New Relationship

While it might feel tempting to quickly jump into a new relationship to “get over” the person who doesn’t feel the same way, it’s important to avoid rushing into something just to fill the void. Instead, focus on building connections and friendships with new people in a more casual way. Meeting others and expanding your social circle can help you gain new perspectives and take your mind off the situation. You don’t need to be in a relationship to feel validated or complete — and rushing into one might prevent you from healing fully.

5. Stay Busy and Engaged

One of the most effective ways to move on from someone is to keep yourself occupied with activities that bring you fulfillment. Stay active with your hobbies, take on new projects, or dive deeper into interests you may have neglected. Keeping busy helps shift your focus away from the person and gives you a chance to rediscover what makes you happy outside of romantic attachment. Plus, being engaged in things you enjoy increases your sense of self-worth and can bring more joy into your life.

6. Reflect on What You’ve Learned

Take time to reflect on your feelings and the experience of being stuck on someone. What was it about this person that attracted you? What emotional needs were you hoping to meet through them? Understanding these patterns can help you grow and learn more about your own desires, needs, and relationship habits. Recognize what you can take away from the experience, even if it didn’t turn out the way you hoped. Growth often happens in the most unexpected places.

7. Consider Professional Support

If you find that you’re really struggling to move on or it’s affecting your mental health, it might be worth talking to a therapist or counselor. A professional can help you process your emotions, explore any deeper issues, and support you in moving forward in a healthy way.

You’re Not Alone

Unrequited love can be one of the most painful emotional experiences, but you’re not alone in what you’re going through. Many people have been in your shoes and found their way through to the other side. With time, self-care, and reflection, the feelings you’re holding onto will begin to fade. You will find a connection that’s mutual and fulfilling, where your feelings are reciprocated. Keep faith in yourself and the future. You’ll get there.